A priori and the presence of others
Our preconceptions are projections that seem to define our identity. True presence, however, anchors us within ourselves while opening us to others. Cultivating this presence, distinct from our preconceptions, profoundly transforms our relationships and reality.
Obvious to think, not to live
It is almost self-evident that when we do not know others, we inevitably represent them according to our preconceptions: we construct an image of the other, based on our own knowledge, or what others have told us, or what we have read, or what we fantasize about the other. And it is also evident that when we meet others, when we enter into dialogue and relationship, often our preconceptions gradually deconstruct themselves to build within us a different image of the other, in which connections have been formed and perhaps can live and transform. Preconceptions can be positive or negative, as can their transformation.
So, these truths that meeting and connecting are constructive of truth are fairly widely shared, but in practice it is not always easy to implement this truth in our personal movements. It is particularly difficult to change one’s point of view. Indeed, our personal construction is obviously linked to our social construction: My identity is woven from agreements and disagreements, adherence and dissension regarding values, beliefs, shared narratives, to which I hold and from which I will generally try not to deviate.
And yet, it is almost always very constructive, it helps us grow, to overcome our preconceptions. I propose here a reflection on our modalities of presence and how to enable ourselves to think about our presence in relation to our preconceptions, to potentially give ourselves more flexibility in our capacity for movement, that is to say, emancipation from what inhibits what is good for us and for others.
Preconceptions against presence
Preconceptions are in reality very opposed to presence, because presence, which is anchoring in oneself, does not need external support to embody itself in our relationship to ourselves and to the world. Presence is a state of being, or rather a consciousness of being, which has the benefit of anchoring us in ourselves and in doing so, not closing us off to what surrounds us, but rather making us all the more open.
Often, we tend to confuse our preconceptions about things with our identity, our thinking, our personality, or even our values. Preconceptions are not us. We have constructed them in relation to the outside. It is true that the way we have constructed them is unique to us. But they are not us, they are projections, in our own way of course, but they are projections onto the outside. It is not about presence, it is about projections toward the outside and not about inner anchoring, which is what presence is. And yet, we confuse them with our presence. We believe they help define us, they reassure us. We feel, for example, “committed against the far right,” “against ecological disaster,” “against violence,” etc. But what do we really know about the far right, ecological disaster, violence? Often very little, we have not truly encountered them, we have not built connections. And yet we feel defined by these preconceptions.
To be able to open up, to grow and to emancipate oneself, including from one’s own preconceptions, I believe it is important to understand that they actually have little presence. They appear strong, solid, they seduce. And moreover, they are shared. But overall, they are false compared to presence, even if they try to merge with it.
The choice of presence to overcome preconceptions
If we open ourselves, if we dare to go beyond our preconceptions, to move toward the other, and if, in the situation, we dare, without ever denying ourselves, without ever denying our presence, to listen to the other and also express ourselves vis-à-vis the other, in our presence, and not in our preconceptions, we will endow ourselves with immense capacities for deconstructing our barriers.
It is not so much a question of self-confidence or solidity, nor even of anchoring. It is a question of choosing presence. If I choose to be present with myself, in my relationship with the other, well, I am no longer in danger in terms of identity. I experience the fact that my presence is not of the same order as my preconceptions, and this can only be experienced in the encounter with the other. I can discover myself as a being with greater capacities for presence than I would have imagined. I can learn so much!
Cultivating one’s presence, distinct from one’s preconceptions, we can achieve it in moments, but most of the time we do not succeed, we remain caught in our preconceptions. There is no need to blame ourselves, because the exercise is very difficult. But if, regularly, we open ourselves to our presence, in order to truly open ourselves to others and overcome our preconceptions, the personal and collective benefits will be unprecedented.
The other as mirror and mystery
The other emerges as an enigma that disturbs our certainties, an opening that provokes resistance and violence as we so fear what comes to trouble our mental universe. This fear of alterity transforms the other into a threatening specter, into a fantasized figure onto which we project our anxieties. Yet true presence to the other requires going beyond our preconceptions, these projections that seem to define our identity but lock us in the repetition of the same. Authentic tolerance consists not in putting up with the other despite their differences, but in building a space of trust where each can dare to transform themselves. Between the totalizing “we” that denies singularities and the solipsistic “I” that refuses the collective, there exists a path: that of the symbolic common place that favors diversity of viewpoints without imposing consensus. The little green men we sought in the stars now emerge from our technological creations, redefining the boundaries of humanity and confronting us with a radically new alterity. Faced with this multiplication of figures of the other - the foreigner, the machine, the dissident - our challenge consists in keeping open the possibility of encounter without reducing the other to our categories, without confusing identity and social function. The absence of privileges can paradoxically make us more present to the real needs of others, thus escaping the trap of altruistic action that starts from its own projections rather than from genuine listening.
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